You've Been Great, Goodnight/Transcript
Brent Leroy: Hey, did you guys see the Howler? It says Fast Exit's doing a reunion tour. Hank Yarbo: No way, really? Lacey Burrows: Who's Fast Exit? Brent: Who's Fast Exit? Only the most awesome rock band in the history of the universe. Hank: Yeah, and they're doing a doing a tour of hockey and curling rinks across Western Canada. Brent: Well, much of Western Canada. Hank: Oh, but the only show they're doing around here is in Wullerton. Brent: Forget that then. Bunch of has-beens. Lacey: Thanks a lot you guys, this is the health inspector. Their little display isn't gonna hurt my rating, is it? Health Inspector: Are you kidding? Wullerton sucks. Brent: OK, so when you're done with the cooler you can cash out and lock up then. Wanda Dollard: Where are you going? Brent OK then, real good. Wanda: Get back here! Brent: See you tomorrow. Wanda: OK, do you guys know where Brent goes every Wednesday night? Hank: Of course he told me, we're best friends. But he asked me not to tell anyone. Wanda: I'll give you five bucks if you tell me. Hank; Damn, now I wish he had told me. Lacey: Are you sure it's every Wednesday? Wanda: Yeah, he peels off in his car like Starsky and Hutch. Well, like Starsky, that was the one who drove. Hutch was more of the thinker of the two, although... Lacey: Stay focused. Wanda: Well, wherever he goes he stays late. His car's not back at his place even if you drive by at 1:00am. Or 1:30 or 1:45...I'm just curious. Hank: Maybe he's a double spy. Oscar Leroy: I say we set a trap for him. What are we talking about? Wanda: Brent's sneaking out every Wednesday night. We don't know where he's going. Emma Leroy: Here's how you can find out, ask him. Wanda: He won't say. Well, he did say. He said he had tightrope walking lessons. But I don't buy that for a second. Hank: Of course, he's gonna need to know how to tightrope walk if he's gonna be a double spy. This just bolsters my theory. Lacey: You guys, if Brent doesn't want us to know what he's doing then there's probably a reasonable explanation for it. And frankly, it's none of our business. Brent: None of your business. Lacey: Oh, come on. Give me a hint, I won't tell. Are you a spy? Brent: I prefer the term "secret agent." Lacey: It's a girl, isn't it? Brent: Did I say "keep guessing" or "none of your business." I meant to say "none of your business." Lacey: Brent has a girlfriend. You have a girlfriend. Kissing, kissing up a tree. Wait, how does that go? It's been a while. Oscar: Hey, just who I need, the Fuzz. Karen Pelly: Fuzz? Oscar: I've got a job for you. Brent is going somewhere every Wednesday night. Karen: That's not a lot to go on. Lacey: Brent is seeing someone. Emma: Oh sorry, I thought you said Brent is seeing someone. Lacey: That is what I said. OK, it's not that shocking. Emma: Who? Lacey: Uh, I don't know. Some woman in the City. Emma: Well, that's understandable. I mean, there's really no decent single women left here in Dog River. Davis Quinton: I read about this trick in a Nancy Drew book. You just rub the pencil on the paper and it should reveal what he wrote on the page before. Karen: Nancy Drew? Davis: Hardy Boys. You see anything yet? Karen: Yeah, Spiderman punching an alligator. There's also a flying saucer shooting lasers at some hockey players. Davis: Doesn't add up. Brent: It makes perfect sense. The flying saucer's from a distant ice planet and it's using tractor beams to suck up all of Earth's top hockey players to compete in an intergalatic championship. Davis: And Spiderman punching an alligator? Brent: Well, that's just random nonsense. And may I ask why you're snooping through my stuff? Wanda: How dare you violate Brent's private property! You might as well just take his car keys and rummage through his trunk and glove compartment. And I think his house keys are on there too. Brent: I don't think so. Oscar: What do you got your nose in a cookbook for? Emma: I want to make a nice meal for when Brent brings his girlfriend around to meet us. Oscar: Brent doesn't have a girlfriend. Emma: Yes, he does. Oscar: Brent? Emma: Yes. Oscar: Leroy? Emma: Your son. Oscar: A girl? Emma: Yes. Oscar: What's wrong with her? Emma: Why does there have to be something wrong with her? Oscar: 'Cause there's something wrong with him. Where do you want me to start? Lacey: Brent's got a girlfriend in the City. Hank: That old dog. He's always out there sniffing around the ladies. Wanda: Brent hasn't had a date since grade 11. He's saving himself for Catwoman. Karen: Just let us finish our investigation and we'll report back. Lacey: What are you investigating? Davis: It's classified. You'll just have to wait until next Thursday after we come back from tailing him. I mean, not tailing him. Wanda: You're tailing him? That rules! Hank: Shotgun! Davis: Shotgun! Karen: Davis! Davis: What? I called it. Karen: You're coming with me. Davis: All right! Karen: Subject is on the move. Davis: I can see that. Geez. Davis: Keep your eyes peeled, If you see Brent, let me know. Hank: Find him yet? Davis: What are you doing here? Wanda: Like you invented following people? Karen: And you followed them? Lacey: No, we came together. I was just paying for parking. Davis: Well, keep your eyes peeled. If you see Brent, let me know. Category:Transcripts